Bi-partisan 2017

Bi-partisan 2017 Congress rapidly passes Election Do-Over, Rectification Bill

Bipartisan members of the 2017 United States Congress introduced and passed a ground-breaking bill to create Do Over of the 2016 Presidential Election. “The United States was founded on creativity and a desire for independence from foreign governments,” read Representative Lindsey Freemaker. “Given the fact that Russia tampered with our election process to assist Trump, given the fact that Trump is agreeing with Russia rather than his own country’s highest ranking intelligence officers, given the fact that this foreign interference likely influenced voting in critical swing states, given Trump’s multiple conflicts of interest, given the fact that Clinton won the popular vote with record numbers, we find it the in the best interest of America and the world to initiate an election re-do. This is the least expensive option for our country, given that Trump would be impeachable on his first day of office. Given that the foreign interference happened with Pence on the ticket, we see this as the most fair, most democratic, most affordable, and most peaceful option for America and the world.” stated Senator Bernie McConnell.
This bill couldn’t have come soon enough, with the inauguration to have been slated for January 20, 2017. President Obama commented, “This is non-partisan. This is for Democracy. I believe the founding fathers would approve.” The election re-do is slated for February 20, 2017 and is expected to cost each state one to $2.5 million dollars. “After weighing all of the costs, we found this to be the least-expensive and best option. We also feel that people will be more energized than ever to participate in America’s political process. This is a victory for Democracy, America, and the world.” stated Obama.

NFL Bans

“NFL Bans All Players with Domestic Abuse Charges - Has Zero Tolerance” The National Football League just issued a no-violence policy stating that any player who is convicted of domestic violence or [...]